Obviation
by cynical dogs only ever bite
Summary: Through a conversation, Light and L come closer, over a very strange subject. CRACK, Light, L


**Obviation**

_  
I see all offers made by me how slight  
Thou valuest because offered, and reject'st,  
Nothing will please the difficult and nice,_

_Or nothing more than still to contradict._

There were some things that were amoral. Light knew that. The problem was, things that were amoral often felt really, _really_ good, and while he'd never exactly held an in-depth philosophical discussion on the justifications of spying on your nude girlfriend, he was pretty sure that even if it was okay for _him_, there was no possible way he could explain away he and L _both_ being voyeurs.

Misa, in all of her 157-centimeter glory, had entered the shower this morning with nothing less than verve and enthusiasm, practically rubbing her ass in the camera that she probably didn't know was there as she shaved her legs, legs that were shown in loving 32-bit color from five different angles on the surveillance screens.

Light liked to consider him above such lowly preoccupations, but there was only so much in this room that you could focus on _besides_ the cameras. There was, of course, the slice of shortcake in front of him that in a rare moment of courtesy L had offered him, but he did nothing but graze at it in an attempt to be civil. What really held his attention was the incredibly attractive model-cum-actress (and he _did_ sense the humor in such a statement) basically giving him a wet, naked lap-dance. The only difference from her being here in person was that he had the ability to rewind and pause at will.

"It's good," L muttered, sucking on his index finger.

Light glanced at him in surprise, then refrained from stuttering and replied, "Yeah."

"No, it's_ really_ good. We should give Watari our thanks."

For what? Wiring the cameras? "I know. I'm glad you're seeing reason." Misa had finished shaving her legs and now moved to lathering up her nubile young stomach with a loofa. There was something vaguely erotic in the movements, as if she _knew_ she was on camera, but he couldn't really tell what _about _it caused his reaction. He figured that was okay, as long as she didn't find out. "Hey, are we breaking the law?"

"By doing this?" L seemed puzzled, but then, this _was_ the guy who had the power to practically dictate sovereign countries, so he probably didn't find spying on someone in the nude to be too much of a problem. "No, of course not. And you know, this is the best I've had in, oh," the detective gave a nostalgic, almost forlorn sigh, "two years."

"Don't you mean forever?" Light sniggered, leaning in the chair, putting his arms around the back of it.

"Oh, I get around. There's particularly good stuff in Mumbai. Remind me to take you some day."

"If it's as good as this is, I'd be much obliged, but, Mumbai put aside, we could actually sell this; it's that good. Can you imagine the market for this kind of stuff?"

L grunted. "It's hard to fathom, Light-kun."

Light spend a good twenty seconds studying her perky breasts with the closest to a leer he was ever going to get, and then said, almost proud of this warped form of male bonding they'd come up with, "You know, even if she's not a C-cup like she says, she still has great tits."

There was a short span of silence, in which they stared at the screen together, then L dropped his gaze to eye the shortcake in front of him, which for the most part had been devoured. He popped one of the last strawberries in his mouth and then spun in his swivel chair, spoon still sandwiched between his lips. Light waited expectantly, somewhat confused, and then the detective raised an eyebrow and said, in that infuriating tone of his, "Light-kun... I don't think we're still talking about the shortcake, _are_ we?"

**END**

**cynical dogs only ever bite**

**END  
**  
Didn't I warn you this was complete and utter crack? XD I think L sits the way he does just so you can't see his raging boners. XD XD XD I And I can't decide whether I made L play along just to humiliate Light at the end, or if L genuinely was oblivious to the actual subject of the conversation. You tell me, huh? And also, the stanza under the title is from Paradise Regained, by John Milton. XD But anyway, review for my trouble?

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.


End file.
